bad internet, bad! very very bad

the internet is a very bad thing i've decided. now, mind you this is not a new discovery on my part; there are as many things about the world wide web that are wrong as there are that are right (probably more actually), but i've recently had my bubble popped so-to-speak by google (or more accurately google image search).

but i'm getting ahead of myself.

last tuesday, sci-fi channel had an all day marathon of that brilliant late 70's television show buck rogers in the 25th century. now of course buck rogers (and it's sister battlestar galactica) were the bastard children of star wars and in reality (or is 27-year old hindsite), the show(s) were really not that good. the scripts were sub-par at best, the acting kinda scary (don't worry erin grey, we don't blame you. your only as good as the script allows - we blame the script, well, the script and the guy who played hawkman - that was just awful), and the special effects were painful. but to the eyes of a 9 year old boy; the show fuckin' rocked. and of course, you got to see a new episode of buck ever week, whereas you had to wait a couple years to get up to date with luke, leia & han. for a kid that's a lifetime. all hail the tv.

but i'll give you the real reason to watch the show in two words: gil gerard. now, as a budding homo, i certainly didn't possess the words at that time to describe what i was feeling when gil/buck was on screen, but boy do i know now. gil gerard was fuckin' hot as hell. a perfect specimen of 70's era machismo. that beefy ex-professional football players body, those twinkling eyes, that shit-eating grin and that perfect hairy chest. many a future fantasy were formed from watching buck rogers in 1979. sure he wasn't that great of an actor, with a chest like that; who needs acting chops.

need proof? here ya go, 3 perfect photographic specimens from back in the day.

oh bless the internet for providing the above pictures. oh wait, i forgot i was ranting against the internet wasn't i? so your probably wondering what in gay-hell does this have to do with gil gerard and/or buck rogers.

hmmm well, lemme tell ya. on tuesday during the aforementioned marathon, i innocently thought to myself, hmmm, i wonder if gil is still hot? so i did what any self-respecting homo with a wireless connection would do. i googled him.

this is what i got:

oh gil... oh gil... wow. i so didn't need to ruin my pre-adolescent fantasy by seeing that. now of course, mr. gerard is allowed to age just like all of us (and god knows, i'm not the perfect specimen of manliness that he once was), but this is just sad. next time, i go to that special spot in my mind where we hold our idols up to higher standards, my image of gil (by the way, i usually picture the leather vest image from above), may be replaced by - shudder - the above.

oh my.

so learn from my lessons kids, leave your childhood idols/fantasies where they belong - in your mind and heart (and perhaps groin). for the love all things good and sacred, please don't do a google image search unless your ready to have your memories dashed, slashed and generally fucked up.

i'm gonna go back to watching my dvr'ed episodes of the hotty gil gerard and his plucky fag-hag/side-kick erin grey to try and get the taste out of my mouth of that image.

hmmm, but now that i'm thinking of 70's sexual icons, i wonder what bj & the bear's greg evigan looks like now. <<>>> step away from the google toolbar....

:-)

music heard during the writing of this post:

don't change / inxs

walk away - chris cox mix / kelly clarkson

supreme / robbie williams

kinda i want to / nine inch nails

somebody to shove / soul asylum

never again / the mission u.k.

jack u off / prince

wake up / alanis

clocks / coldplay

hung up / madonna